Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

1 year without chemo........

Getting ready to head back to get my scans this next week.  It has made me reflect on the time I have had without chemo being a part of my life.  It will mark 1 year that we stopped chemo and I took a leap of faith.  By that I mean that Doc Levin told me that I should take 3 moths off.  Of course I was scared!  I figured I had trusted him thus far with my life...why not trust him now!  He is brilliant and had brought to a point that I had only wished for and dreamt about.  I was free!  Or was I?

For me wanting to be done with my chemo meant that my cancer was all gone, right.  I was wrong.  The cancer is still there and I am not getting chemo?  WHAT....  And it has been a year.  If someone had told me in the beginning that it would have taken 3 years for this beast to bow down...I would of just laughed.  I originally thought it would be 6 months and I was done.  Boy was I surprised!  Not only at the length of time, but also my perseverance.  I am strong...I am invincible.  Or at least I like to think so.  :)  By this I mean I feel I could accomplisg anything that I put my mind to.

So having time off from chemo and just having scans can be a bit daunting at first.  Always having those pesky what if's popping into your mind.  Then as each scan came and went and my comfort increased.  I could feel the tension just relieving itself.  Maybe it was the my faith...I had chosen to let go of all this worry and hand it to God.  He is the one that saw me through this...why not give him this too.  I do have my days when that little devil tries to get me to think that something is wrong, but I just shoo him away and start enjoying the second chance that I have been given!  Maybe that is why I like to keep busy...it keeps your mind from filling up with negative thoughts.

So here is to 1 year without chemo....and my hope for many more to come!  I am BLESSED!