Posterous theme by Cory Watilo
Have you ever lost something and then it takes weeks to find it??  Well, I have had the Privilege to have had this happen to me.  It was before Relay for Life and I brought my car out to Nan and Pap's.  I then brought stuff in and that's the moment!!  After that the keys have been missing.  Then I thought, Well it must be the after affects of the chemo brain.   SO I motivated on.  Thinking any day that they would just reappear.  Not the case...at all!  Only a couple times I should my frustrations.  The first time was when VW said that it would cost anywhere from 180.00 - 300.00.  REALLY!!  That is just the kind of money that I have hanging around on a Chemo budget.....I was holding this back so hard.  But I really just wanted to shout it out as loud as I could!
     Well it is one month later and out of the geneosity of my partner's Nan....The Jetta mobile has a key.  I am so excited to be driving it again!  Yeah for me!  I don't do that very often, but it felt good!
My test in all of this was....I did not lose my cool the whole time.  Priceless
Chris

thoughts for the day......

Mothers are there to take care of you.  When we are little we run to our Mom's when we are hurt or just need to be the comfort of her closeness.  I never thought that as an adult, I would come to rely on my Mom for this all over again.  She dropped everything for me 4 years ago, when I receive the news that I had Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer.  I never thought I would be so child-like again.....not being able to do the smallest thing for myself.  I could bathe and use the bathroom, but that was about it.  She would be there for me no matter how much of a jerk I was.  She would always be there for me, not judging me but just loving me, as only a Mom could. 

I remember when I first started my treatments.  I had 4 months of really harsh ones.  My Mom literally ran pushing me, in a wheelchair, to catch a flight.  I felt so helpless, but she motivated on.  That must be where I get my strength from...I know it is!

    Know it is my turn to care for my Mom.  However, her procedure was 1200 miles away.  I feel helpless.  Everything went well, but I still feel like I need to be there for her.  She has done so much and given up so much for me.  It brings me tears that someone can be that unselfish.  I know that is what Mom's do.  But Know that I feel better with each day and I have my family to Thank for that.  Especially my Mom!  For her unselfishness and unwavering love!  I love you Mom!  And Thank you for being such a wonderfully beautiful, unselfish woman.  I am so proud to call you My Mom!  <3 <3 <3

Saturday April 14th 2012

As I sit here this morning...I look back at the last week and Just breathe a sigh of relief!  My Mom, who has taken care of me through my entire cancer journey is now in need of healing.  I found it easy to be the patient.  It was simple being the patient.  I had no choice I did what I had to do to LIVE!  I always said that it must be much harder on the caregivers than the patient.  
I and my siblings are now caregivers to my Mom.  I guess we have always tried to make things easier on her since becoming an adult,  But now it takes on a whole new meaning since our family has been introduced to the cancer world.  She has not been diagnosed with cancer,  But when you here that your Mom has a 2 cm Ampullary mass and it is covering the Pancreas.  And you yourself have been battling Pancreatic cancer....it hits close to home!  I do not wish my Mom to go through what I have had to endure!  For some idiot reason...I was wishfully thinking that I was going to be the only one to face anything like cancer.  I keep up the positivity and good thoughts, but when your Mom tells you that she has  been suffering from the same symptoms that I had....Then red flags go up!  I am scared...there I admit it.  But I will not let it show.  We will get to the bottom of this and mom will be able to enjoy her grandchildren and her great grandchildren to come!  I have faith!  And with that... and a positive attitude, we will overcome
  

Just checking to make sure this is working.  I had a wonderful morning.  I went over to my Mom's and fixed her breakfast and coffee.  My sister...Amy came over too.  It was a great way to start the day! 

Well, This is my first post since last summer.  It has been a busy 8 or so months.... stiil getting treatment and this process has become just part of my life/ or what I consider part of my normality!  Really, What is normal anyway!  Everyone has there own sense of what is normal is...so this is mine.

These past few months have given me my independence back!  But with this independence and introduction back to real life...there has been a lot of bumps in the road.  Those bumps have given me some valuable lessons. The difference is that I am listening this time.  Which makes all the difference in the world!!

I have so many things and people to be Thankful for......My family.  My Mom, who has given up the past 3 years to take care of me.  How do you ever repay or show the gratitude that is definately due??  I try to, but sometimes it seems to not be enough!!  But Thank You Mom...for being the strong beautiful woman you are!  You are my hero and I am so proud to have you as my mother!!  My sisters and brother... I know that this has been a rough road, but you have definately made it much smoother for me!!  My Dog, Baxter.  You were my protector and best friend.  You always kept a watchful eye on things,  I love you bubba-doo and have missed you everyday since you had to go heaven!  But I always feel you right by my side!!

I have met so many lovely people.....Thank you for your support and kind words!!  My lovely Meg....You are my rock and the love you have shown me, it truly amazes me!!  You put up with me and my moods at times, but still love me!! I love you so much and you an incredibly beautiful woman-- inside and out!!

Well, I definately needed to get all that out!!!  Whewwww!! lol  

I struggle at times with being around....while so many of my people are not!  I continue my fight for them and always will!!  You all are my heroes!!  I love and miss you all!!

Hey there-- I know it has been awhile since my last post!  I have been trying to figure out what to put down in writing-- what i want to share with the world.  I want to keep somethings for me... but also want to share with you all!!  The past several months-- have been an emotional!  I am still wrapping my head around things, but know that I am truely blessed.  I have had the pleasure of some wonderful old friends that I have caught up with this summer.  Friends-- make sure to keep the good ones around!!  I am very lucky to have amazing friends!  I have had a lovely person enter my life once again.... I need to say Thank you for that!  I wanted normality.... and I have it.  I keep motivating on, 
I am trying to get some more golf in before the weather gets to cold.  I guess I will have to find somewhere warm to play this winter!!??
  Having an issue with my allergies-- they are brutal right now!!  Other than all this---- LIFE IS GOOD!! 
 

Welcome to Tuesday!!  I enjoyed a great weekend!!!  Visited with one my sisters-- Nat and my 2 nephews-- drew and Trever-- at breakfast!!  And then enjoyed some of the Folk Festival!  I like to stay busy..... especially in the summer.  I really do not want summer to end, but I do enjoy the Fall in Maine.... there is a smell in the air and then the leaves changing colors.  It is priceless!!!!  I am looking for hiking partners????  There is a place in Maine that is called the "Grand Canyon of Maine".  It is called Gulf Hagas and the pictures are just beautiful!!  If you have a chance you should look it up!!!  I want to do this before my return to CTCA on 9/13. I sometimes forget I have to go back for treatment, until the last week and then reality hits me again.  But if I have to give up a week to live a pretty normal life..... then that is what I have to do and I am more than OK with that!  As I have said before--- I am very blessed to be able to live a "normal" life for the most part!!!  That is priceless to me!!!!!!!!!!! Getting ready to get some bloodwork done  and then off to visit with another sis-- Amy and my niece Ava..... Ava has a birthday celebration this weekend-- she turns 3..... going on 16! LOL  Having to get into an oral surgeon-- darn wisdom tooth is giving me problems!  But they are hard to get into, at least within the month. Time to start yet another round of antibiotics....  Cant wait to have this thing taken out!!!  But no worries -- just another bump in the road!!!  Life is Good!  :)

My name is Chris Parrish -- I am 42 years old.  At the age of 40....  I was diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic cancer.  I am so blessed with having a great support system... family, and  friends.  But my search for a hospital that would help me fight cancer was not as cut and dry.  On my 3rd opinion... I found Cancer Treatment Ctrs. of America. They are helping  to save my life,  or at least extend it way beyond what the doctors locally ever gave me.  This is why I am doing this for CTCA....  I believe in the style of treatment that they give you..... it is truly what Patient-centered care is all about!!  I hope that me doing this will help folks realize that you can survive Pancreatic cancer..... all cancer for that matter and that you can still LIVE your life.  So thanks for taking time to read this.... more to come later.  I do have to get my Golf in today, ya know!!!  :)