Chris... in real time http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com Most recent posts at Chris... in real time posterous.com Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:04:00 -0800 Reflections during this holiday season http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/reflections-during-this-holiday-season http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/reflections-during-this-holiday-season

The holidays have taken on more meaning to me!  I have always loved this time of year....the decorations, goodwill towards fellow man and the love that fills the love that fills the air!  It's Christmas time!

Thanksgiving was a very reflective time for me......receiving news that the cancer was gone from my Pancreas was something to be so Thanfkul for!  It made me think of ALL the things that I am Thankful for and sent my mind into a tailspin....all the thoughts of thankfulness came flooding into me.  I AM TRULY BLESSED!  I am still trying to have all this wnderful news sink in and it does seep in a bit everyday!  I try to pass on my blessings to everyone else I come into contact with...it makes me feel comlete! I Love passing on the good things life and living have to offer.  I have found that some folks do not know how good they have it..... I am here to help people realize that each day of Life and LIVING is a MIRACLE!

I look back and am amazed at all the Beautiful people that have passed through my life and am truly Blessed to have known them and they certainly made me a better person just for the time I had known them.  

I struggle some days...with still being here and so many of my friends not. I do know that they are watching over me and smiling down saying, "YOU DID IT!  I keep all of you in my heart and I carry on for all of you! Actually, I think that at times...you all have carried me through the 3 1/2 years of treatment.  Thank you to all my Guardian Angels and God!

I find myself close to tears...at most points in my day.  It's not sad tears though,  they are tears of THANKFULLNESS. I am so looking forward to this Holiday season and many more.  Make sure to hold your loved ones close and let them know how much you mean to them.  Not only now , but all year through.  The realtionships we have are the Miracles I was talking about.  Make your interactions count. Enjoy the merriment of the season and carry it with you throughout the year.

 

 

 

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Wed, 25 Jul 2012 04:10:00 -0700 turning the tables..... http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/turning-the-tables http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/turning-the-tables

I have just surpassed a milestone...1 year with out chemo and now it has seemed that my role, at least for now has changed a bit.  I am still dealing with being a Pancreatic cancer patient.  I am ok where and the road I have to travel.  It has been a blessing.  Yes, I said blessing.  So many wonderful things have happened on my journey the past 4 years and I would not have changed a thing.  Except for now.  My Mom had a mass removed that was covering her pancreas.  She had great doctors and will have wonderful followup care.  I am truly blessed as is my Mom!

The new thing for me is to be in the caregiver role.  I knew it must have been hard for my Mom to have seem me go through what I did!  But when the tables are turned, I am an emotional wreck.  Usually just on the inside....because I did not want my Mom to see how concerned, scared, worried that I was.  I asked God a long time ago.....that I never wanted anyone to go through what I have gone through.  I guess I should have worded it differently....as to say please do not afflict my family with Pancreatic issues.  But I guess that would not have worked either, since most of my family had or is diabetic.  So I guess God wants our family to take notice and make a difference in the fight against this disease.

I have been there for My Mom and spent some great quality time with her.  I have enjoyed this so much!  But I want my Mom to be safe and live her life without pain or discomfort.  It has made me realize that I want to spend as much time as I can with Mom and learn from her...listen to the stories of when she was young and the things she did and seen.  What a wonderful thing that is!  I feel very blessed to have my Mom still here and going strong!  I now know where I get my strength and courage from.

It was easy to be the patient, but being a caregiver is a hard road.  So many what ifs and answers that you may not want to hear, but you put on a brave face and carry on.  So for all you caregivers...YOU are the strength when we can not seem to carry on and the face we always want to see when we wake up....I just want to say THANK YOU for all you do.

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Thu, 12 Jul 2012 04:23:06 -0700 1 year without chemo........ http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/1-year-without-chemo http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/1-year-without-chemo

Getting ready to head back to get my scans this next week.  It has made me reflect on the time I have had without chemo being a part of my life.  It will mark 1 year that we stopped chemo and I took a leap of faith.  By that I mean that Doc Levin told me that I should take 3 moths off.  Of course I was scared!  I figured I had trusted him thus far with my life...why not trust him now!  He is brilliant and had brought to a point that I had only wished for and dreamt about.  I was free!  Or was I?

For me wanting to be done with my chemo meant that my cancer was all gone, right.  I was wrong.  The cancer is still there and I am not getting chemo?  WHAT....  And it has been a year.  If someone had told me in the beginning that it would have taken 3 years for this beast to bow down...I would of just laughed.  I originally thought it would be 6 months and I was done.  Boy was I surprised!  Not only at the length of time, but also my perseverance.  I am strong...I am invincible.  Or at least I like to think so.  :)  By this I mean I feel I could accomplisg anything that I put my mind to.

So having time off from chemo and just having scans can be a bit daunting at first.  Always having those pesky what if's popping into your mind.  Then as each scan came and went and my comfort increased.  I could feel the tension just relieving itself.  Maybe it was the my faith...I had chosen to let go of all this worry and hand it to God.  He is the one that saw me through this...why not give him this too.  I do have my days when that little devil tries to get me to think that something is wrong, but I just shoo him away and start enjoying the second chance that I have been given!  Maybe that is why I like to keep busy...it keeps your mind from filling up with negative thoughts.

So here is to 1 year without chemo....and my hope for many more to come!  I am BLESSED!

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Thu, 05 Jul 2012 06:57:00 -0700 The memories we make... July 4th http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/the-memories-we-make-july-4th http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/the-memories-we-make-july-4th

As another 4th of July comes and goes, I remember back to when I was a kid.  It meant playing wth cousins that I had not seen in a while and a lot of great food, fireworks, and swimming.  When you get abit  older its about going out with your friends and making your good times. 4 years ago, it made really re-evaluate... everyday, every holiday. 

Rewind to July 4th, 2008.  My Mom and step dad John were up for my sisters wedding.  Just a few weeks prior, my diagnosis of Pancreatic cancer rocked my and my families world.  Were we really celebrating the 4th and a wedding.  Actually it was a perfect distraction!  Things do not look quite as bad when you are celebrating!  I remember I was surrounded by family and friends.  My family was happy that day....even living with the fact they were shell shocked a couple weeks before.  We carried on like nothing had happened, but I knew what was going in in my body and I chose to ignore that awful pain, anxiety and the what if's.  I had memories to make...I did not have time to dwell on what would or could be happening.   What a great celebration that was enjoyed by all!

Next July 4th, 2009.......

Well it is almost a year from the start of my treatment.  My niece was travelling back to Zion with me.  After Gettysburg, we headed to Buckhorn, KY to see my Mom and Stepdad, John.  We had a good visit and ate dinner at the Buckhorn Resort, but my step dad did not come...he was not feeling well.  Mom, Ash and I saw some of the best fireworks ever.  Who would of thought such a small town in Kentucky would have such a beautiful array of fireworks.  Ashley and I left and we said our good byes...who would have thought that would be the last time that we would see my stepdad alive.  He died of adenocarcinoma in August.  What a lovely man he was!  

July 4th, 2010

I was out to my friend Anne's camp...having a wonderful time fishing and hanging out with friends.  I knew I would see this day....but in the back of your mind, you always have these little doubts that pop in.  Oh and by the way...I did not touch the fish!!  I hate the way they feel!  So my best friend Anne would take them off for me.  I also learned that you could cast a rod from the lying down position....that way I could continue to have my tanning (with SPF 50) uninterrupted!!  LOL  We would go out first thing in the morning, it was so peaceful!  Love those times...they were priceless! We did not see fireworks that year, but we were having such a good time....we forgot all about them.  Great times

July 4th, 2011

Well this was another trip...it was Meg and I and we decided to spend the 4th in Gettysburg and take in the history and have a litte vacation as well.  We took the battlefield tour...With the cd guided tour I should say.  It made you feel like you were right there when this all happened.  So much history and We tried to take in everything.  Ate at some old amazing spots and took lots of pictures....I should say Meg took them all!  :)  As far as fireworks though, We had to find them.  We saw some, so we got in the car to find them......what an adventure.  We never did get to see them except for a couple that we saw from really far away.  But no matter....I am still here to celebrate another year!!

And for July 4th, 2012

 am in awe that I am still here to another 4th...spemd time with some famiy and friends.....enjoyed the fire works at the park...over looking the water.  The grand finale was amazing.  But what really ocurred was that I started looking back at how different each days were so different....may I kust look at them in different ways....depending on where I was in my cacner journey.  It is kinda like growing up again and reflecting back on those times of old.  Just feeling truly blessed present on this day in july.  

               PEACE and LOVE

                        Chris

 

 

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Fri, 29 Jun 2012 04:14:04 -0700 Oh, the friends you meet........ http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/oh-the-friends-you-meet http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/oh-the-friends-you-meet

During my journey, I have had the privilege to meet some wonderful people.  Most on the same journey as me.  You never know how people can affect you.  In my case, I mean in a good way.  Of course you do have have to take the good with the bad. LOL  

From the beginning of my journey...I needed help to calm my mind and body, so I could be strong to fight this beast.  Then a wonderful lady that happened to do Reiki came in to my life and made me feel at peace...for atleast 2 hours I thought.  Then I began to understand that slowing the mind and trying to concentrate on the here and now was something that was so vital in my survival...or peace of mind.  This became a huge part of me ...and one that I needed to get me through this battle in one piece.  It led me to meditation and then to yoga.  I am so grateful to Yvonne!  Thank you.

Then when my journey began at CTCA...I have met so many folks that have touched my life!  A few of them are still around.  For that we are blessed to have these warriors still with us.  Quite a few are not and I miss them! I think of them fondly and remember the times that I had with them and shed a few tears as well.  For they will never know how much of a positive impression that they left on me. I carry on my fight so they can see this journey through till we find a cure for this.

I have lost a couple of friends this week and it makes my heart very heavy.  I still struggle with these lossses.  I cry and wonder why couldnt they have made it...at least a bit longer.  But then I know that I have to trust the Big Guy upstairs. He has a plan...just like he has a plan for me.  Who am I to question him.  All I can say is Thank you for the time I was given with them!  I have truly blessed with wonderful friendship and love from all the folks that I have met and they have truly left their imprint on me.  It is a reminder to live each day to its fullest and just love life.  Keep smiling and the world will smile with you....along with those folks that are smiling down on you from heaven.

If I could shout out to the heavens...I would say THANK YOU ......for allowing me to be a part of your lives and for teaching me about true friendship and love..  

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Sat, 23 Jun 2012 08:28:49 -0700 Wizard oOz..I man Cancering Heart, Courage, Brain and Getting Home http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/wizard-oozi-man-cancering-heart-courage-brain http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/wizard-oozi-man-cancering-heart-courage-brain

My title is a litte weird...is what you are saying. Well I was watching the Wizard of Oz the other night and the words...heart courage, brain and getting home were all the main topics I got from it and how it applies to my cancer journey. 
My latest blog..that would not post so here it is in copy and paste style...that's just how i roll right now anyway....LOL

Heart, Courage, Brain and Getting home...

These are main things that these wanders went to the Greatcity of OZ to get. This got me thinking about how in my journey, all these came up and I will explain, or atleast try to, hhow all these played a part in my cancer journey. A Heart.... When my journey started, I was a workaholic. I never took time for anything but my work and getting a good workout in at lunch. I would go back to work and go about my day...not taking in the beauty and wonders that are in your everyday life. I some how had gotten lost over many years. I do not know how...maybe when my Dad died, a piece of me died too. My heart was very guarded from everything. Then cancer and your whole way of life flashes before your eyes and then you take a good hard look in the mirror. I did not like who I saw and knew this needed to change...allow people in to help and allow their love to envelope you and you know that heart that had been lost started regaining strength. For every person that I allowed in...my heart and spirit grew stronger. I thought I could make through this life on my own, But boy was I WRONG. The more folks you let in the more love you can feel and that can take you many places and give you the strength to conquer anything.

Courage......I never knew what I had in me until cancer came a knocking. I was so scared, but determined but if i had no courage then I feel I would not have made the right choices or taken the leap of faith to go over 1200 miles away for a facility (CTCA). And then to endure the treatments...the first 4 months were the hardest. But with courage.....I continued on for over 3 years of treatment. I lived each day like I was not sick, but I knew my body was so different and I had to take into consideration that my body can't do what it once did. But with courage I persevere. I push myself so that one day I will be able to do a mini marathon, triathlon to raise awareness for Pancreatic cancer and for CTCA. Courage has gotten me from where I was 4 years ago to Today.....a 4 year SURVIVOR of Pancreatic cancer 

Brain...... I guess you could consider me like the scarecrow. If I only had a brain. LOL You feel like that with a chemo brain. :) I have not been hard on my self, but it is difficult to go from a great brain to one that is in a fog most of the time. I am being patient with myself...or trying to anyway. I thought that chemo brain would slowly disappear after you chemo stopped. Well that is not the case. But that is okay. I am adapting though. I am just so happy to be Alive that having a brain deficiency at times...is more than Ok with me.

Getting home.....for me this means the end of the cancer journey. I know the journey can start back at any time. But right now I am enjoying getting home and living my life. I know that at any time cancer can come back. it takes courage to just live. especially when you know that if you look over your shoulder...that cancer is in your view. I just don't look back anymore. All I look to are the day, the moments that we have.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Sat, 23 Jun 2012 08:26:22 -0700 Wizard of Oz... I mean cancering. Heart, Courage, Brain, and Getting home http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/wizard-of-oz-i-mean-cancering-heart-courage-b http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/wizard-of-oz-i-mean-cancering-heart-courage-b

My title is a litte weird...is what you are saying. Well I was watching the Wizard of Oz the other night and the words...heart courage, brain and getting home were all the main topics I got from it and how it applies to my cancer journey. 
My latest blog..that would not post so here it is in copy and paste style...that's just how i roll right now anyway....LOL

Heart, Courage, Brain and Getting home...

These are main things that these wanders went to the Greatcity of OZ to get. This got me thinking about how in my journey, all these came up and I will explain, or atleast try to, hhow all these played a part in my cancer journey. A Heart.... When my journey started, I was a workaholic. I never took time for anything but my work and getting a good workout in at lunch. I would go back to work and go about my day...not taking in the beauty and wonders that are in your everyday life. I some how had gotten lost over many years. I do not know how...maybe when my Dad died, a piece of me died too. My heart was very guarded from everything. Then cancer and your whole way of life flashes before your eyes and then you take a good hard look in the mirror. I did not like who I saw and knew this needed to change...allow people in to help and allow their love to envelope you and you know that heart that had been lost started regaining strength. For every person that I allowed in...my heart and spirit grew stronger. I thought I could make through this life on my own, But boy was I WRONG. The more folks you let in the more love you can feel and that can take you many places and give you the strength to conquer anything.

Courage......I never knew what I had in me until cancer came a knocking. I was so scared, but determined but if i had no courage then I feel I would not have made the right choices or taken the leap of faith to go over 1200 miles away for a facility (CTCA). And then to endure the treatments...the first 4 months were the hardest. But with courage.....I continued on for over 3 years of treatment. I lived each day like I was not sick, but I knew my body was so different and I had to take into consideration that my body can't do what it once did. But with courage I persevere. I push myself so that one day I will be able to do a mini marathon, triathlon to raise awareness for Pancreatic cancer and for CTCA. Courage has gotten me from where I was 4 years ago to Today.....a 4 year SURVIVOR of Pancreatic cancer 

Brain...... I guess you could consider me like the scarecrow. If I only had a brain. LOL You feel like that with a chemo brain. :) I have not been hard on my self, but it is difficult to go from a great brain to one that is in a fog most of the time. I am being patient with myself...or trying to anyway. I thought that chemo brain would slowly disappear after you chemo stopped. Well that is not the case. But that is okay. I am adapting though. I am just so happy to be Alive that having a brain deficiency at times...is more than Ok with me.

Getting home.....for me this means the end of the cancer journey. I know the journey can start back at any time. But right now I am enjoying getting home and living my life. I know that at any time cancer can come back. it takes courage to just live. especially when you know that if you look over your shoulder...that cancer is in your view. I just don't look back anymore. All I look to are the day, the moments that we have.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Sat, 23 Jun 2012 06:43:28 -0700 Wizard of Oz...heart, courage, brain, and getting home http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/wizard-of-ozheart-courage-brain-and-getting-h http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/wizard-of-ozheart-courage-brain-and-getting-h

My title is a litte weird...is what you are saying.  Well I was watching the Wizard of Oz the other night and the words...heart courage, brain and getting home were all the main things that these wanders went to the Great city of OZ to get.  This got me thinking about how in my journey, all these came up and I will explain, or atleast try to, hhow all these played a part in my cancer journey.  A Heart....  When my journey started, I was a workaholic.  I never took time for anything but my work and getting a good workout in at lunch.  I would go back to work and go about my day...not taking in the beauty and wonders that are in your everyday life.  I some how had gotten lost over many years.  I do not know how...maybe when my Dad died, a piece of me died too.  My heart was very guarded from everything.  Then cancer and your whole way of life flashes before your eyes and then you take a good hard look in the mirror.  I did not like who I saw and knew this needed to change...allow people in to help and allow their love to envelope you and you know that heart that had been lost started regaining strength.  For every person that I allowed in...my heart and spirit grew stronger.  I thought I could make through this life on my own, But boy was I WRONG.  The more folks you let in the more love you can feel and that can take you many places and give you the strength to conquer anything.

Courage......I never knew what I had in me until cancer came a knocking.  I was so scared, but determined but if i had no courage then I feel I would not have made the right choices or taken the leap of faith to go over 1200 miles away for a facility (CTCA).  And then to endure the treatments...the first 4 months were the hardest.  But with courage.....I continued on for over 3 years of treatment.  I lived each day like I was not sick, but I knew my body was so different and I had to take into consideration that my body can do what it once did.  But with courage I persevere.  I push myself so that one day I will be able to do a mini marathon, triathlon to raise awareness for Pancreatic cancer and for CTCA.  Courage has gotten me from where I was 4 years ago to Today.....a 4 year SURVIVOR of Pancreatic cancer 

Brain...... I guess you could consider me like the scarecrow.  If I only had a brain.  LOL  You feel like that with a chemo brain.  :)  I have not been hard on my self, but it is difficult to go from a great brain to one that is in a fog most of the time.  I am being patient with myself...or trying to anyway.  I thought that chemo brain would slowly disappear after you chemo stopped.  Well that is not the case.  But that is okay.  I am adapting though.  I am just so happy to be Alive that having a brain deficiency at times...is more than Ok with me.

Getting home.....for me this means the end of the cancer journey.  I know the journey can start back at any time.  But right now I am enjoying getting home and living my life. I know that at any time cancer can come back.  it takes courage to just live.  especially when you know that if you look over your shoulder...that cancer is in your view.  I just don't look back anymore.  All I look to are the day, the moments that we have.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Sat, 16 Jun 2012 08:17:29 -0700 Reflections........ on surviving Pancreatic cancer for 4 years http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/reflections-on-surviving-pancreatic-cancer-fo http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/reflections-on-surviving-pancreatic-cancer-fo Today is June 16th, 2012.  
    It has been 4 years since I was told that I had Pancreatic cancer.  So today I celebrate the fact that I am ALIVE and beat the odds that were given me...6 months.  
My journey has been a long road, but one I would not have changed for the world.  That may sound odd to most, but this has literally been a life changing experience.....spiritually, physically, emotionally.  But it made me figure out who I am..... I found my inner light., which had seemed to go out some years ago. Now armed with my new found faith, some divine intervention ...I have the determination to beat this vicious disease.
I have been truly blessed to have met some of the most special people.on my journey.....Cindy and Pete, Joe and Lois... These folks helped me to regain my faith :), Stephanie, Pam and Gary, Doug and his Dad, Patrick and Sherry and so many more.   I have lost many, but am truly blessed to have had the privilege to have these folks in my life...if only for a short time.  I cannot say how much I enjoyed you all and the time we were given with each other.  You truly helped me enjoy one of the hardest times of my life.  I do not know if that makes sense, but I figure I might as well enjoy the ride....and I did.  
     I have learned to take in life, not just let it happen and not get enjoyment out of it.  Sometimes I have to remember this, but I learned that it is the small things that are the most important to enjoy.  
I have pushed my body to it's limits....not only with chemo, but to see what it could do while chemo was flowing through.  I have been able to keep up with some walking at first, then added going to the gym, then some jogging and now P90x...taking my time on this though.  However this was a far cry from what I was like when I was first diagnosed.
  Upon my diagnosis,  I was so tired and could barely get out of bed.  My big thing was to take a walk or try to do some weed wacking.  but had no energy or strength.  Even the first few months of chemo, 4 months to be exact, I was knocked down physically.  But I still persevered on!  I did not want the cancer to see that it had the upper hand.  I did not want to show it (cancer) that I had any weaknesses.  Mentally or physically.  
     I still have this attitude today.  I am so proud so how far I have come through all of this!  I am so Thankful to God, my family, especially my Mom, Dr. Levin, Dr. Vereault and all the other great Doctors and supporting staff that has taken such good care of me.  I Love you all!!  
    I am strong and I feel that I have been given a second chance and I am going to make it count.  I will do everything in my power to make sure that Pancreatic cancer gets noticed and a cure will be found!  I have so many friends and fellow warriors that have lost their battles......I am carry the them with me everywhere and we will see a day when there will be no more afflicted by this disease. 

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Thu, 14 Jun 2012 12:54:05 -0700 Things on my mind http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/things-on-my-mind http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/things-on-my-mind I have been thinking of many things to write about.  So many things going on.  I am so happy that my Mom;s mass that she had remove came back with no evidence of cancer.  This mass cover her opening to her Pancreas!  I am feeling so blessed!
The next thing is that a true warrior just lost his battle with Pancreatic cancer....he had just turned 11 years old.  This hit me like a ton of bricks!  I had a good morning...breakfast and coffee with my Mom and then suddenly I felt my heart get really heavy and I could not seem to get out of the funk.  Then later that day...I found out that this courageous little warrior had passed away.  What a strong young man.  I had never met him, but his impact on me was tremendous! I cried and then realized that this little guy is in no more pain and has touched so many.  This had made me realize that I need to do MORE!!  This beast has taken too many and now an 11 year old boy.  
     I have started to get into shape...my dream to run, bike to raise awareness to this disease and for every step I take,  I will have Denali, Ernie, Pam, Patrick, Doug and my other fellow warriors on my back as I complete my mission to raise awareness.  You all are my heroes!
So please do what you can to raise awareness.  We all are affected by cancer....do your part!

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:18:25 -0700 Untitled http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/136846038 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/136846038
Have you ever lost something and then it takes weeks to find it??  Well, I have had the Privilege to have had this happen to me.  It was before Relay for Life and I brought my car out to Nan and Pap's.  I then brought stuff in and that's the moment!!  After that the keys have been missing.  Then I thought, Well it must be the after affects of the chemo brain.   SO I motivated on.  Thinking any day that they would just reappear.  Not the case...at all!  Only a couple times I should my frustrations.  The first time was when VW said that it would cost anywhere from 180.00 - 300.00.  REALLY!!  That is just the kind of money that I have hanging around on a Chemo budget.....I was holding this back so hard.  But I really just wanted to shout it out as loud as I could!
     Well it is one month later and out of the geneosity of my partner's Nan....The Jetta mobile has a key.  I am so excited to be driving it again!  Yeah for me!  I don't do that very often, but it felt good!
My test in all of this was....I did not lose my cool the whole time.  Priceless
Chris

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Wed, 06 Jun 2012 09:58:57 -0700 thoughts for the day...... http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/thoughts-for-the-day http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/thoughts-for-the-day

Mothers are there to take care of you.  When we are little we run to our Mom's when we are hurt or just need to be the comfort of her closeness.  I never thought that as an adult, I would come to rely on my Mom for this all over again.  She dropped everything for me 4 years ago, when I receive the news that I had Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer.  I never thought I would be so child-like again.....not being able to do the smallest thing for myself.  I could bathe and use the bathroom, but that was about it.  She would be there for me no matter how much of a jerk I was.  She would always be there for me, not judging me but just loving me, as only a Mom could. 

I remember when I first started my treatments.  I had 4 months of really harsh ones.  My Mom literally ran pushing me, in a wheelchair, to catch a flight.  I felt so helpless, but she motivated on.  That must be where I get my strength from...I know it is!

    Know it is my turn to care for my Mom.  However, her procedure was 1200 miles away.  I feel helpless.  Everything went well, but I still feel like I need to be there for her.  She has done so much and given up so much for me.  It brings me tears that someone can be that unselfish.  I know that is what Mom's do.  But Know that I feel better with each day and I have my family to Thank for that.  Especially my Mom!  For her unselfishness and unwavering love!  I love you Mom!  And Thank you for being such a wonderfully beautiful, unselfish woman.  I am so proud to call you My Mom!  <3 <3 <3

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Sat, 14 Apr 2012 05:35:50 -0700 Saturday April 14th 2012 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/saturday-april-14th-2012 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/saturday-april-14th-2012 As I sit here this morning...I look back at the last week and Just breathe a sigh of relief!  My Mom, who has taken care of me through my entire cancer journey is now in need of healing.  I found it easy to be the patient.  It was simple being the patient.  I had no choice I did what I had to do to LIVE!  I always said that it must be much harder on the caregivers than the patient.  
I and my siblings are now caregivers to my Mom.  I guess we have always tried to make things easier on her since becoming an adult,  But now it takes on a whole new meaning since our family has been introduced to the cancer world.  She has not been diagnosed with cancer,  But when you here that your Mom has a 2 cm Ampullary mass and it is covering the Pancreas.  And you yourself have been battling Pancreatic cancer....it hits close to home!  I do not wish my Mom to go through what I have had to endure!  For some idiot reason...I was wishfully thinking that I was going to be the only one to face anything like cancer.  I keep up the positivity and good thoughts, but when your Mom tells you that she has  been suffering from the same symptoms that I had....Then red flags go up!  I am scared...there I admit it.  But I will not let it show.  We will get to the bottom of this and mom will be able to enjoy her grandchildren and her great grandchildren to come!  I have faith!  And with that... and a positive attitude, we will overcome
  

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Tue, 20 Mar 2012 07:36:07 -0700 Untitled http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/113353709 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/113353709

Just checking to make sure this is working.  I had a wonderful morning.  I went over to my Mom's and fixed her breakfast and coffee.  My sister...Amy came over too.  It was a great way to start the day! 

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Sat, 28 May 2011 09:29:00 -0700 Untitled http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/54763320 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/54763320

Well, This is my first post since last summer.  It has been a busy 8 or so months.... stiil getting treatment and this process has become just part of my life/ or what I consider part of my normality!  Really, What is normal anyway!  Everyone has there own sense of what is normal is...so this is mine.

These past few months have given me my independence back!  But with this independence and introduction back to real life...there has been a lot of bumps in the road.  Those bumps have given me some valuable lessons. The difference is that I am listening this time.  Which makes all the difference in the world!!

I have so many things and people to be Thankful for......My family.  My Mom, who has given up the past 3 years to take care of me.  How do you ever repay or show the gratitude that is definately due??  I try to, but sometimes it seems to not be enough!!  But Thank You Mom...for being the strong beautiful woman you are!  You are my hero and I am so proud to have you as my mother!!  My sisters and brother... I know that this has been a rough road, but you have definately made it much smoother for me!!  My Dog, Baxter.  You were my protector and best friend.  You always kept a watchful eye on things,  I love you bubba-doo and have missed you everyday since you had to go heaven!  But I always feel you right by my side!!

I have met so many lovely people.....Thank you for your support and kind words!!  My lovely Meg....You are my rock and the love you have shown me, it truly amazes me!!  You put up with me and my moods at times, but still love me!! I love you so much and you an incredibly beautiful woman-- inside and out!!

Well, I definately needed to get all that out!!!  Whewwww!! lol  

I struggle at times with being around....while so many of my people are not!  I continue my fight for them and always will!!  You all are my heroes!!  I love and miss you all!!

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Wed, 06 Oct 2010 07:26:50 -0700 Untitled http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/29825082 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/29825082
Hey there-- I know it has been awhile since my last post!  I have been trying to figure out what to put down in writing-- what i want to share with the world.  I want to keep somethings for me... but also want to share with you all!!  The past several months-- have been an emotional!  I am still wrapping my head around things, but know that I am truely blessed.  I have had the pleasure of some wonderful old friends that I have caught up with this summer.  Friends-- make sure to keep the good ones around!!  I am very lucky to have amazing friends!  I have had a lovely person enter my life once again.... I need to say Thank you for that!  I wanted normality.... and I have it.  I keep motivating on, 
I am trying to get some more golf in before the weather gets to cold.  I guess I will have to find somewhere warm to play this winter!!??
  Having an issue with my allergies-- they are brutal right now!!  Other than all this---- LIFE IS GOOD!! 
 

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish
Tue, 31 Aug 2010 05:12:00 -0700 Untitled http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/26988206 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/26988206

Welcome to Tuesday!!  I enjoyed a great weekend!!!  Visited with one my sisters-- Nat and my 2 nephews-- drew and Trever-- at breakfast!!  And then enjoyed some of the Folk Festival!  I like to stay busy..... especially in the summer.  I really do not want summer to end, but I do enjoy the Fall in Maine.... there is a smell in the air and then the leaves changing colors.  It is priceless!!!!  I am looking for hiking partners????  There is a place in Maine that is called the "Grand Canyon of Maine".  It is called Gulf Hagas and the pictures are just beautiful!!  If you have a chance you should look it up!!!  I want to do this before my return to CTCA on 9/13. I sometimes forget I have to go back for treatment, until the last week and then reality hits me again.  But if I have to give up a week to live a pretty normal life..... then that is what I have to do and I am more than OK with that!  As I have said before--- I am very blessed to be able to live a "normal" life for the most part!!!  That is priceless to me!!!!!!!!!!! Getting ready to get some bloodwork done  and then off to visit with another sis-- Amy and my niece Ava..... Ava has a birthday celebration this weekend-- she turns 3..... going on 16! LOL  Having to get into an oral surgeon-- darn wisdom tooth is giving me problems!  But they are hard to get into, at least within the month. Time to start yet another round of antibiotics....  Cant wait to have this thing taken out!!!  But no worries -- just another bump in the road!!!  Life is Good!  :)

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Fri, 27 Aug 2010 09:20:00 -0700 Untitled http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/26734948 http://chrisinrealtime.posterous.com/26734948 My name is Chris Parrish -- I am 42 years old.  At the age of 40....  I was diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic cancer.  I am so blessed with having a great support system... family, and  friends.  But my search for a hospital that would help me fight cancer was not as cut and dry.  On my 3rd opinion... I found Cancer Treatment Ctrs. of America. They are helping  to save my life,  or at least extend it way beyond what the doctors locally ever gave me.  This is why I am doing this for CTCA....  I believe in the style of treatment that they give you..... it is truly what Patient-centered care is all about!!  I hope that me doing this will help folks realize that you can survive Pancreatic cancer..... all cancer for that matter and that you can still LIVE your life.  So thanks for taking time to read this.... more to come later.  I do have to get my Golf in today, ya know!!!  :)

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/698549/IMG_1299.JPG http://posterous.com/users/4wudNtIrk2fD Christina Parrish chrisinrealtime Christina Parrish